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The Mysteries of Life

So I thought with it being January and all-- I would begin this year by pondering the mysteries of life...

And mostly, I am referring to the mystery of how to keep a potted plant alive. When I graduated college, I moved in with a close friend, and my mother gave me a potted spider plant to keep.

I pretty much killed it.

Now before I continue this story, I think you should know my opinion about plants. Plants are good for a few things-- but for keeping in one's house? No.

Plants are good for climbing.

Plants are good for camouflage.

Plants are made for pulling.
But I don't think plants should be kept indoors. It's like keeping an exotic animal in the zoo...


So anyway- back to my story (remember, the plant was pretty much dead)

So I moved back home for awhile and took the plant back to my mother.

The plant performed a Lazarus and came back to life. Not only did it come back to life-- it flourished. Apparently my mother is the saving grace to house plants.

And then I moved away again-- and I happily took my spider plant with me. This time I wasn't going to let it die!

And then I noticed the plant (which had 2 stalks) didn't really stand up very well. So I quickly hustled to Walmart to purchase some potting soil. I even called my mother to ask which kind. Then I lovingly spread the soil around the base of the plant to help support it. I left the plant by my only window and went on my merry way.

Then I noticed some of the leaves were turning brown and withering. I asked my mom, she suggested the plant was getting to warm-- so I quickly shuffled it away from the window.

A few weeks later I noticed again that more leaves were dying. It was with a heavy heart that I had to remove one of the stalks that had died. But there was still 1 left! I felt hopeful.

I asked my mother and she suggested that I was over-watering. So I took out its watering device and proceeded to water it once a week. I even stuck my finger in the soil to make sure it wasn't too wet (and I hate getting my hands dirty).

And then I noticed the plant leaves kept withering... But I thought maybe-- just maybe-- it would pull through.

And then I went on Christmas break (for 1.5 weeks). And this is what I came home to:
I have come to many conclusions from this life experience:
1. Plants are hard to take care of.
2. I shouldn't take care of your plants. Or any plants, for that matter.
3. You should try to remember living things in your house if you go on a vacation.
4. From now on I should buy fake plants. All the glory of a live one-- without the hassle.

Sadly, I will have to dispose of the deceased body of my plant very soon. And then all I will have left is an empty pot... and the joy-filled memories of the great times my plant and I had together.

1 comment

  1. Poor Anna. I feel your pain. It wasn't until yesterday that I even thought about my little bamboo plant. And if it wasn't for Stephen, the poor thing would never get watered. I fully support the fake plant idea. Just tell people it's real! Keep a little spray bottle by it and say you spritz it once a week and it's flourishing! But then, if people take your advice and kill their plants, then it's even funnier!

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