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Trash Talk Tuesday

Oh Trash Talk Tuesday... Enjoy!

Mission Impossible 4?!?
It's official. Maybe. I read today that they are making the 4th (and most likely last) installment of the Mission Impossible movie franchise. My thoughts were as follows: 1. Will Tom Cruise still be the main character? 2. Will Tom Cruise break a bone will or die while attempting stunts for this movie? (he's pretty old...)3. I thought the 3rd one was the last one... 4. In the 3rd MI movie, Tom Cruise's character actually DIES. He DIES and comes back to life. How can they possible top that in the 4th movie?!? 5. I am totally going to see this... haha

Mariah Carey Takes a Spill...
While performing onstage in Singapore, diva Mariah Carey fell down. Did she suffer from a heart attack? Was it a stroke? I'm glad you asked. And, despite being 40, Mariah was not suffering from a health issue. Instead she merely tripped over her ridiculous shoes. Oh shoes... Why do you cause such problems for people? I vote we all go shoeless and help Mariah feel less stupid.

Dawson Has a B-A-B-Y
This week was marked by a momentous occasion-- Dawson (yes, I know that's not his real name) had a baby girl with his wife... This is, in my eyes, the equivalent of "babies having babies" or "teenage pregnancy", because Dawson will forever be immortalized as a sad excuse for a teenager running around Capeside... Those were the days...

Gloria Estefan Risks Her LIFE!!!
*Gasp* The other day Gloria Estefan found herself locked inside her "luxury" suite at a football stadium. (Living the hard life, right there). Instead of waiting for the door to be fixed, Estefan pulled a highly dangerous stunt. She climbed out the window and into the window of the suite next to her... What was she thinking?!? She could have been killed!!! Crazy celebs and their antics... Someday somebody is going to get hurt! What would the world be like if all our celebs pulled stunts like this?!? (Oh, and I hope you caught some sarcasm, because I was laying it on pretty thick) Of... Feel free the watch the stunt yourself. It pretty much blew my mind...
That's all. There is no more. Until next week, that is. Hope you enjoyed!

Can You Pay My Bills?

Yes, you read today's title correctly. For your information, today's title is merely a nod to the 90's singing group Destiny's Child. I am not really asking you to pay my bills. Although if you feel like being charitable, I won't hold it against you...

NEWS FLASH: I don't like adulthood. I don't like needing a job to survive. I don't like paying bills.

SAD REALIZATION THAT TRUMPS NEWS FLASH: As much as I hate adulthood, responsibility, and all that good stuff-- I really, really hate NOT having a job more. It's the most boring thing ever. You have no idea.

In case you are doubting the idea that being on eternal vacation is way worse than working a lame 9-5, let me give you a recap of the last 1.5 months of my life...

Here is my typical day:
Wake up (typically around 9ish), Eat breakfast, Think about exercising, Sit on couch and watch TV, Think about exercising, Get on FB, FB stalk every single person I know (and even some I don't), Watch more TV, Eat lunch, Think about exercising tomorrow morning, Text some friends, Wait for text replies, Search the internet for possible jobs, Search the internet for interesting news, Pet the dogs, Get back into bed, Stare at wall and ponder life, Wander aimlessly around the house, Lie on the carpet and whine about the direction of my life, Think about going out to job hunt, Dismissing the job hunt idea because that requires showering, Dismiss any idea involving leaving the house because that requires changing out of comfy pajamas, Eat dinner, Watch more TV, Text more, Check FB for the 500th time, Stay up until 1 or 2 am, Get in bed to sleep and watch dumb shows on TV, Think about how tomorrow will be better, Get up next day and REPEAT.

I am serious. It's almost like my life is the back of the shampoo bottle that reminds you to "rinse and repeat". I've got it down pat.

I never realized how tempting random jobs can start to sound. These days I often find myself thinking things like: "That lady picks up dog poop for a living... She makes $15 an hour?!? I would totally do that job..." and "That grocery store is hiring part-time... I could totally rock the grocery store look... I would the best cashier EVER!" and "That job dressing up like a giant bunny for children's birthday parties is starting to sound tempting... I wonder where I can sign up?"

In my free time, however, I have compiled a list of future careers (in case that teaching job never comes). Are you ready? Here they are:

1. Cake Decorator (I love art and cake. It's a win-win situation!)
2. Appear on TV shows (AKA: Wipeout and The Amazing Race... After I win a few TV shows I'll be set for life!)
3. Professional Student (this is the one where I return to school and study a variety of topics because I no longer know what I want to do with my life...)
4. Vet Assistant (I love animals, just not their dander... hmmm....)
5. Writer (Don't mock! How hard can it be to pump out a Christian romance novel or child fantasy book? CS Lewis anyone? Piece. Of. Cake.)
6. Professional Bum (In this one I construct a cardboard house and live on a street corner. I never shower. I chase small children away from my home while shaking my fists and yelling angry statements like, "Hey you kids! Get away from my house! This is MY house! I know where you live!!!". I also sing on the street corner for spare change. It could work...)
7. Bakery Owner (this is similar to the cake decorator, except I get to make other goodies along with cakes. And who doesn't love to bake?!?)
8. Get Paid to Take Experimental Drugs (I'm not sure how well this would turn out. But it has to pay fairly well...)

I'm sure there are more awesome career choices out there... In fact, I think I'll sit around today and ponder them... Sounds like the perfect job for me!


Trash Talk Tuesday

Oh snapadoo! It's Tuesday... I think you know what that means...

Phelps No Longer Rules the Pools...?
I must say I was a little saddened to hear that the reign of Michael Phelps (Olympic swimming champ extraordinaire) might be over... According the Phelps' swimming coach, Phelps hasn't been winning very often and seems rather unmotivated. On one hand, I'm sad inside. The summer Olympics were so exciting-- all because of his swimming ability! But on the other hand, I can kind of understand... Where could Phelps possibly go from there?

Gilmores to the Big Screen...?
The rumor is this: The show creator is hinting at the possiblity of a movie based on the famous TV show... Not gonna lie-- I'd probably buy a ticket to see it. Especially if it invovled Rory falling in love with Jess all over again (Jess was obviously the best, and only, choice for her). And if I've lost you because you never watched this show-- I apologize. Go see the movie... If it happens...

Nice 'Stache...?Apparently if you are as famous (and as crazy) as Mel Gibson-- you need an ultra cool and unique disguise just to step out the door... I'm a little creeped out. Not gonna lie.

Lady Gaga Angers Animal ActivistLady Gaga is always causing a stir everywhere she goes. How does she do it? Somehow this woman picks out the strangest dresses and outfits... In her newest crazy scheme Gaga wore a dress (with matching hat and shoes) to the VMA's made totally out of REAL MEAT. I'm not against eating meat. In fact, I love nothing more than a juicy steak or cheeseburger. But to wear it as clothing?!? Wow... Words have abandoned me.

Cher Goes Extreme
Apparently the VMA's happened this week. For those of you who don't keep up with the "popular" music trends these days-- I'm sure you could care less. VMA = Video Music Awards. La-dee-dah. So anyway-- Cher showed up... In the outfit seen above... The kicker? Not only is she too old to be wearing something like this-- it is the same outfit she wore 20 years ago. Looks like someone needs to get a move on. And spare us! PLEASE!

Well, there you have it-- some more trashiness to get you through until next week. I hope this sufficed. If not, do some research yourself and write your own blog... OR encourage the celebrities to get out there and do CRAZY things. Enough said.
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