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Trash Talk Tuesday

After a brief respite from last week's edition of TTT (and slight mental meltdown from yours truly)-- I am back in full force! Not a lot going on this week in gossip-- but still enough to make me go, "What on Earth...?" and "I can't believe that" and "Really???"

Enjoy! (And Heather, as always this posting goes out to you!)

I like to call this segment: Did you look in the mirror this morning? (The answer seems to be always be, "Um. No. Why?")

Don't blink-- or you might miss out on the fact that this is not a picture of Billy Ray Cyrus from the 1980's. Oh no, this is Billy Ray 2010. Mullet and all. Has he looked in the mirror in the last couple of months?!?

Oh my. I don't know what Jessica Simpson was thinking... Do you think she looked in the mirror that morning? I'm going to go with a resound, "No." Yikes!

Always save the best for last, that's my motto. I'm not big on fashion and knowing what's "hip" these days... But it seems to me that wearing pajamas on stage is never a good idea. Especially if you have to maintain that rapper mentality. How does Snoop Dog do it? I have no idea, but the one thing I do know-- he probably didn't look in the mirror before he went onstage. Poor guy. Somebody buy him a mirror! Please!

Mel Gibson is… gone? Not gone? What?!?
It’s been a long and difficult road for actor Mel Gibson. Apparently the latest controversy involving this movie star is that he is caught on tape threatening his girlfriend. So the news is that he is planning to move back to Australia (where he grew up). Is it true? Nobody knows for sure—but the general consensus is that this rumor is false.

Celebrities Eat Real Food?!?

Apparently celebrities like to eat real food. This week Jessica Biel admitted to loving chips, burgers, and fries. What is the world coming too?!? If celebrities can’t stay on their diets how can the rest of us expect to do the same?!? I just can’t cope…

Pink Bites the Dust
Doing onstage stunts during a live concert can always be scary—especially when you aren’t strapped in correctly! During a live concert in Germany last Thursday, singer Pink fell out of her harness and landed on a barricade. The singer was immediately transported to the hospital. Rumor has it nothing was broken. Except for those fans’ hearts who had waited FOREVER to see Pink live… I wonder how many people were actually there? Hmmm…

Are we honestly surprised by anything Paris Hilton does anymore? I’m afraid not. So why is it in the news that she got busted with a little pot in her purse in an airport? Heck, she probably put it in her purse just to make the headlines again. I vote for her to go away. And not come back. The End.

If you've made it to the end I offer you a congratulatory pat on the back! But you'll have to do it for yourself b/c I'm not around to do it for you. Hope you enjoyed reading!

Strange Injury

This morning I eased myself out of bed and onto the extremely hard surface of my computer chair. "Why?" you may be asking.

Because yesterday I think I broke my tailbone. At least, that's what it felt like at the time.

Now, I am not the most graceful person. I tend to hurt myself. A lot. For example:
1. I once fell of the monkey bars at school onto my back. I knocked the air out of myself and was unable to bend over for about a week.
2. I once rode my bike directly into a building.
3. I always seem to trip up the stairs.
4. At work a few weeks ago I slipped on a wet floor and fell down in front of everyone and banged up my knee. (more embarrassing than hurtful)

Well, this latest injury is also my fault. Although I think I'm going to blame it on something else. So last night I decided I wanted to go rollerskating. A trend of the 1990's if I ever saw it. This particular roller rink was painted with neon designs and lit with disco balls and black light. The DJ insisted on playing mostly inappropriate music for the majority of the people there (7-12 year olds). I wanted to give that person a stern talking-to, but that's another story. The rink wasn't very crowded for it being a Saturday night. I'm pretty sure skating has long gone out of style and only children born in the 1980's really appreciate the art form.

So anyway, I'm rollerblading along (not skating-- rollerblading-- oh yeah) and there seemed to be a multitude of people (kids and adults) falling down. A lot. I felt a little bad, but I usually ended up giggling to myself. Like a big jerk.

I guess you could say I got my comeuppance.

While taking a lap around the rink I noticed some things happening in front of me. There were 2 people who both looked like they were about to fall. I was planning to get out of the way, but the best course seemed to be skating between these 2 people. So I sped up a little and went for it. And don't worry, I didn't even touch those 2 people. Instead, I lost my balance (completely on my own-- I'm blaming my left rollerblade--the wheels were a little sticky) and fell down. Right on my tailbone. There was nothing between my tailbone and the floor.

The first thing, and only thing, I noticed was intense pain. I don't know if you've ever broken or bruised your tailbone-- but it is not fun. So I sat on the floor, unable to get up. One "helpful" worker came to see if I was ok-- and feeling like a complete idiot I told him I was fine when truthfully I was dying from pain. So I crawled (literally) to the side of the rink and stood up. I skated off the floor and (very carefully) sat down to let some of the pain subside.

It's much better today. And now I know why skating seems to have gone out of style.

And, just for the record, 2 Aleve and sleeping on your stomach works wonders for this problem.

So, to all my readers, please be careful next time you go skating. It's a dangerous sport. A very dangerous sport.

One of Those Days...

Did you ever have one of those days that you wish you could start all over again?

Today is one of those days.

Actually, now that I think about it, I think I'm having one of those lifetimes.

But let's not dwell too much on the big picture-- I don't want to blow your mind. Or depress you. Which I'm sure I'm already doing. Feel free to stop reading now if you are looking for an uplifting message.

Ok. Back on track. Today I was awakened by the sensasation of a slightly overweight black dog sitting on top of me and licking my face. I suppose it wasn't a horrible way to start the day, but it certainly wasn't the way I had planned. So I rolled out of bed only to remember that today is Tuesday. Meaning it was time for my traditional Trash Talk blog. But then I realized I hadn't done any research, and frankly I didn't feel like it. So I am officially a slacker on that end.

I got on Facebook to see what was going on with the world-- only to discover yet another one of my college friends had gotten a teaching job. And I am 98% certain that I am a huge failure in this area of life. And I'm certainly tired of everyone telling me, "You'll find the perfect job. It's out there." or "Everything will work out for the best in the end." People don't have to tell me these things-- I've heard it all before. And won't they all feel like big jerks when I can't find a teaching job?

So after my bout of depression about lack of job offers and interviews, I decided it was time for breakfast. A delicious toaster struddel! Imagine my surprise (and pain) when the struddel popped out of the toaster and burned my thumb! How does that even happen? And it wasn't a little burn-- it was a full-out throbbing of pain. Great. Many thanks goes out to breakfast for adding to the general merriment of the day!

And now I get to head off to my summer job in which I take customer's orders, wear a uniform, make fries, and get paid as much money as an illegal immigrant! Oh boy!

Thus, I have decided that today is one of those days. Those days where you only want to crawl back under the covers and sleep, but you really have no choice but to press on. Here's hoping things look up in the future... I wonder if this is something 2 cups of coffee can fix? Hm...

Trash Talk Tuesday

I'm just gonna throw this out there and apologize for the the lameness of this week's TTT. I mean, I did some research, but I couldn't find much. Oh sure, Lindsey Lohan is going all crazy again (cue the yawn). So here it is. Not much. But some is better than none (maybe).

The Pitts
(Sidenote: I absolutely love this horrible picture of Mr. Pitt) Rumor has it that Brad Pitt has decided he needs to step in and do something to help with the BP oil spill. Well, I know we can all rest easy now that Brad Pitt is on the case. Why didn’t we just call him in the first place? Sheesh… His solution? Make a movie about it. Oh great. I bet that movie will be riveting.

Christmas May Be Ruined I am utterly speechless because I just read that Kate Gosselin (for some reason she won’t go away and just take care of her 8 kids) wants to make a holiday CD starring her and her children singing the “classics”. May I be the first to say—Christmas tunes may never be the same again.

Movie Review: Toy Story 3 I thought this movie was pretty much awesome. After the success of the first 2, I wasn't sure they would be able to pull off a 3rd. But I have to say, it was funny and sad and everything. I am glad they didn't kill it with lameness. So I'd highly recommend this for anyone who enjoyed the first 2-- you won't be disappointed.

Movie Review: The Last AirbenderI went into this movie not knowing any of the "backstory". I guess it was based off a Nick cartoon? Anyway-- I thought the acting was a little shoddy, the lines were sometimes super-cheesy, and the plot line leaves you hanging at the end (aka: sequel-- boo!) The best part of this movie was all the action scenes and battles. I guess if you had an afternoon to waste and liked action films you might (might) enjoy this movie. But I think kids who watched the cartoon might appreciate it even more... I'd say pass it up if you're not sure.

Movie Review: Knight and Day
I went into this movie expecting it to be pretty sad (aka: lame) all-the-while demonstrating the craziness that is Tom Cruise. I have to say that I was not disappointed. Things (and people) are shot at, exploded, etc. Tom comes across as super crazy. I also laughed a lot. At the sheer ridiculousness and absurdity. I guess this means it was enjoyable. So, if you are looking for a movie that doesn't have a lot of substance, things exploding, and Tom Cruise going insane-- look no further!

Wow! I looks like all I did last week was watch movies-- but some of these are a few weeks old. I promise! Until next week...
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