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Today I woke up and felt like dying. Now... Was it an illness that caused this phenomenon? No. Was I dreading something that was going to happen today? No. Was I nervous about the future (Yes, but this is not that case).

No. Today I woke up and felt like dying because I had to wake up at 6 am.

Now I've probably made some of you mad. 6 am?!? That is ridiculously late!!! I get up at 5:30 every day!!! (If that is the case, I feel bad for you).

But, alas, I had to get up at 6 am on my Saturday. It always feels odd to sleep in later on the weekdays (8:30 every day) than on the weekend. But I love my roommate. If she asks me to go somewhere with her-- I wake up at 6 am. Because I care. Plus, she said we could have doughnuts-- which helps the matter a little bit.

Too bad I didn't realize waking up this early would also make me want to die. Literally.

So in the off-chance that I knock off early, I wanted you all to be prepared. And since I've never bothered to write down funeral ideas-- today made me realize I need to get it in writing. Otherwise how will you all know what to do once I die? And on the offchance one of you kicks the bucket before me... well-- I suppose I could let you borrow a few of my awesome funeral ideas.

Ok. Now. These are not jokes. So don't laugh too much. I expect to see this happening from Heaven.

1. Don't bother saving my body. Seriously? I don't want people looking at an empty corpse. And I don't want to rot in the grave.
2. Instead, have me cremated and then sail out into international waters (take a cruise, if you want) and dump me in the ocean. I love the ocean. And for once I won't have to worry about shark attacks.
3. Make sure my organs were donated to a good use.
4. Emily Iler will come to funeral and will give a speech about how God "took me to His bosom". (We saw this in a movie once-- and I thought it was pretty great. And hilarious)
5. You can wear black... But, please, add in a vibrant color. As much as I adore black-- I love bright colors even more. So honor me by doing that.
6. Please, no loud bawling or weeping. I don't mind if you shed a few tears (or none at all). But, come on, it's not like I'm never going to see you again (here's hoping you know Jesus). Plus, I don't really like crying. I think my glands only get usage about once every 6 months. So, plug it up for me.
7. After the service, I request that you have refreshments available. Mostly pie. And frozen custard. And cheesecake. (And now I'm officially hungry).
8. While serving refreshments, have a karaoke machine set up. There were be only a few songs available to sing (but this is the most important step). The songs available to sing at my funeral are songs that I can go the rest of my life on Earth without hearing. And be happy. So that is why you are allowed to sing them only AFTER I pass away. So honestly, I won't have to hear them again.

Here is the karaoke list:
  • Testify to Love -- Avalon
  • Friends: MWS
  • Wind Beneath My Wings --Bette Midler
  • True Colors
  • Butterfly Kisses -- Bob Carlisle
  • Grown-up Christmas List
  • Happy Birthday Jesus
  • Christmas Shoes
  • Right Here Waiting For You -- Richard Marx
  • Hello- Lionel Richie
  • Hero -- Mariah Carey
  • I Will Always Love You -- Whitney Houston
  • I Swear --
  • Hey Mickey
  • Macarena
  • MmmBop -- Hanson
  • This I Promise You -- 'Nsync
  • Big House -- Audio A.
  • Home Run- Geoff Moore and the Distance
  • My Heart Will Go On -- Celine Dion
  • How Do I Live Without You

So there you have it. And now you truly have no excuse to follow my wishes. Thanks for being such great friends!


  1. i claim to sing friends. and butterfly kisses. if you are still alive by the time you get married, i want to sing them there too.

  2. and grown up christmas list. how could i forget?? and maybe my heart will go on.

  3. Janna beat me to it; I was going to claim singing ALL of these songs, but she was here first so she gets Friends and Butterfly Kisses, and I suppose she can have Grown Up Christmas List too.
    But I want to steal My Heart Will Go On...
    I claim Testify to Love, Wind Beneath My Wings, Hero, I Will Always Love You, I Swear, This I Promise You, and How Do I live Without you; because all of these songs will express how I feel/felt about you!

  4. Rats! I was so focused on the karaoke part I forgot to comment on the rest of the blog...
    If someone is taking your ashes on a cruise, I want to go to. Or if no one else volunteers, I'll take you. I'll be the crazy person who talks to an urn for a week, then throws it overboard, and mopes in her cabin the rest of the cruise.
    I will totally wear a black dress and color it up with a yellow something, cause yellow makes me think of you. Maybe it's your yellow computer, your yellow hair, or the fact that you love the sun.
    I love cheesecake, but if I eat it at your funeral, I may never want to eat it again. It will make me sad. And cheesecake shouldn't be sad. Unless the cheesecake had a picture of you on it. Like that birthday cake Rory had on Gilmore Girls. Then I would not be as sad and cheesecake wouldn't be tainted.
    Don't die anytime soon, cause I like having you around. At least wait till after you get married. If Janna gets to ding Butterfly Kisses or Friends at your wedding, do I get to sing Wind Beneath my Wings?

  5. heather, lets make my heart will go on a due!! that way it will be really special.
    and i want to go on the anna cruise too!

  6. Yes! That is the perfect solution.
    We should also sing lots on the Anna cruise. But that time, we should sing all of Anna's favorite songs. Anna! We'll need a list of those too.

  7. Anna, I will sssooo be at your funeral and there is no way anyone is going to stop me from giving that speech. Also, I would like to go on your death cruise as well!

    oh, and I can't believe that an Nsync song is on that list...even if it is one of the cheesiest songs of ALL time. very interesting. I love you and hope you don't die anytime soon.


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