Dying

Today I woke up and felt like dying. Now... Was it an illness that caused this phenomenon? No. Was I dreading something that was going to happen today? No. Was I nervous about the future (Yes, but this is not that case).

No. Today I woke up and felt like dying because I had to wake up at 6 am.

Now I've probably made some of you mad. 6 am?!? That is ridiculously late!!! I get up at 5:30 every day!!! (If that is the case, I feel bad for you).

But, alas, I had to get up at 6 am on my Saturday. It always feels odd to sleep in later on the weekdays (8:30 every day) than on the weekend. But I love my roommate. If she asks me to go somewhere with her-- I wake up at 6 am. Because I care. Plus, she said we could have doughnuts-- which helps the matter a little bit.

Too bad I didn't realize waking up this early would also make me want to die. Literally.

So in the off-chance that I knock off early, I wanted you all to be prepared. And since I've never bothered to write down funeral ideas-- today made me realize I need to get it in writing. Otherwise how will you all know what to do once I die? And on the offchance one of you kicks the bucket before me... well-- I suppose I could let you borrow a few of my awesome funeral ideas.

Ok. Now. These are not jokes. So don't laugh too much. I expect to see this happening from Heaven.

1. Don't bother saving my body. Seriously? I don't want people looking at an empty corpse. And I don't want to rot in the grave.
2. Instead, have me cremated and then sail out into international waters (take a cruise, if you want) and dump me in the ocean. I love the ocean. And for once I won't have to worry about shark attacks.
3. Make sure my organs were donated to a good use.
4. Emily Iler will come to funeral and will give a speech about how God "took me to His bosom". (We saw this in a movie once-- and I thought it was pretty great. And hilarious)
5. You can wear black... But, please, add in a vibrant color. As much as I adore black-- I love bright colors even more. So honor me by doing that.
6. Please, no loud bawling or weeping. I don't mind if you shed a few tears (or none at all). But, come on, it's not like I'm never going to see you again (here's hoping you know Jesus). Plus, I don't really like crying. I think my glands only get usage about once every 6 months. So, plug it up for me.
7. After the service, I request that you have refreshments available. Mostly pie. And frozen custard. And cheesecake. (And now I'm officially hungry).
8. While serving refreshments, have a karaoke machine set up. There were be only a few songs available to sing (but this is the most important step). The songs available to sing at my funeral are songs that I can go the rest of my life on Earth without hearing. And be happy. So that is why you are allowed to sing them only AFTER I pass away. So honestly, I won't have to hear them again.

Here is the karaoke list:

• Testify to Love -- Avalon
• Friends: MWS
• Wind Beneath My Wings --Bette Midler
• True Colors
• Butterfly Kisses -- Bob Carlisle
• Grown-up Christmas List
• Happy Birthday Jesus
• Christmas Shoes
• Right Here Waiting For You -- Richard Marx
• Hello- Lionel Richie
• Hero -- Mariah Carey
• I Will Always Love You -- Whitney Houston
• I Swear --
• Hey Mickey
• Macarena
• MmmBop -- Hanson
• This I Promise You -- 'Nsync
• Big House -- Audio A.
• Home Run- Geoff Moore and the Distance
• My Heart Will Go On -- Celine Dion
• How Do I Live Without You

So there you have it. And now you truly have no excuse to follow my wishes. Thanks for being such great friends!